I am finding that I am super emotional latly, although I tend to be In December and January. Lilia turned 3 on friday and its hard. Not becuase shes getting older, and not becuase her birth was tramatic or anything (it was great actually, very fond memories of the actual birth) I just keep thinking that 3 years ago I was home with a newborn and a toddler. Everyone was happy and healthy (not counting the flu i had), then a few days later I am slapped in the face with a very sick child, and my entire world turned upside down. Then on the 21st I will remember the horrible details on almost losing her, and her first christmas laying with her chest open in toronto. I know shes doing well, but i cant forget the past (and nor do i want to) and every year it does get easier, esepcially as she gets older and more and more stronger. Somone metioned that maybe i have a bit of PTSD, which wouldnt surprise me, but I also think these feelings are pretty normal.
I dont really have anyone to talk to about these feelings, but really would it help anyways? I jsut find myself crying a bit more latly and hugging my kids a lot.
WOW Lilia is three!?! Time does fly, doesn't it!
ReplyDeleteI am so happy she is doing so well.
Love ya girl....
ReplyDeleteHope the post you read on my blog made ya smile a bit.
always thinking of you guys.