World Mental Health Day

I have bipolar type 1 with psychosis, I have generalized anxiety disorder, some ocd traits, i was a self harmer. I have thought about suicide more often then i can count or even remember. I have tried to attempt several times, but i learned i am not very good at it. i have been hospitalized twice. once was for a psychotic break after my last child was born, a year later was because i was severely depressed and knew i was going to try and kill myself. i have tried more meds then i can even remember...but that was before i was properly dx. i have learned a psychiatrist is key to helping mental illness, not a family doc...but a specialist. before i was properly dx i was thought to have severe depression, and was treated with antidepressants...which at one point made me manic...actually more like a mixed episode which is manic and depressed at the same time, and is VERY risky.... i got those more often then mania or hypo mania. i was probably bipolar since i was about 14 years old, but back then my cries for help went unanswered. i suffered for years alone and afraid, not knowing why i was happy and energetic and someone everyone loved to miserable and depressed, to cutting myself (i have over 100 scars) and thinking of suicide to actually attempting it. sure once i knew what bipolar was it was a relief, but still it took a couple more years before i became stable on medication and even then somedays are still a battle. its a life long condition, i will always need meds, and understanding ppl in my life....the suicide rate for ppl with bipolar is pretty high...so ya some days i am scared. but i am not scared to admit i have a mental illness and that i need help to function every day. I am proud of what i have overcome. just some ramblings i wanted to share to support World Mental Health Day before it ended. remember if you are suffering...you don't have to be alone. There is help out there.