I dont know why this day is turning out as bad as it is. I dont know why I am sitting here wanting to take a rusty blade to my arms. Could it be becuase the baby has decided not to sleep anymore? or that Aurora was up 4 times during the night becuase of an ear infection?...or because even though I am losing weight i still feel like a fat blob whos not attractive to anyone?
or maybe its because I have severe anxiety and it is not under control latly, and so the littlest thing seems to piss me off and take me to the edge.
Why is it I feel like a noone to everyone in the world. and yet the 3 little ppl whom i do matter to I just want a break from.
Life doenst ever make any sense, or maybe its just me.
(Dont worry I am not even close to sucidal, just having a bad day)
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